Day 22

+ This Holiday is just not my thing... Every move I make is just wrong. How I wish I could mask this all. Be happy despite all the happenings. I am so numb. I want to return my mask, this is enough.

+ Depression, perfectionism. What more do I need to just understand how to live?

+ I am about to get my macbook pro this January. My parents are paying for it but then I am not that excited anymore. I am thankful with a heavy heart. I don't know. Can someone please examine my heart.

+ This Christmas is the worst that I have ever had. Mostly tears and perfection, guilt and smiles, joy up joy down. I want to bottle up again. Expressing my emotions into words aren't that good for me. No one will ever understand. No one.

+ Well its Christmas Eve! and my mind is tired and blank.